984. she's singing! it's time!

thanks so much to regulars pam, itsmecissy, & lightly, and to all those folks who have made cranelegs pond their humor water cooler for the past few years! it's been fun!

983. hate to burst the balloon but ...

i missed all the commotion from yesterday, why with that six year old being in that runaway wacko balloon, and then his not being in the ballon at all, and then his being found in the attic playing with toys, and then that tearful (well, huggy anyway) reunion with poor dad for all the world to see from the cnn situation room.

yeah, i missed it.

but i didn't miss some of the coverage today, why with those clips of dad acting deranged in that wife swapping reality show, and then the same poor kid tripping up on his lines about this all being a show, and dad and mom parading the whole clan before all the morning "news" shows, and then with the same kid puking on each and every network, and then the so called cable news shows suggesting something sinister might be afoot.

well, i don't want to burst anyone's balloon but "something sinister afoot" is an understatement.
it was a sensational hoax, the parents are certifiably uncertified to be parents, the kid is cute but on his way to a troubled life, the news networks are anything but, and we, the public, are the enablers of this freakin' mess.

our thirst for dumb reality shows, dumbed-down news and dummy people engaged in their dumb quest for fifteen minutes of fame can't be quenched.
we are riveted by the ridiculous while bored by the important.
we deserve what is coming.

and coming it is.

982. ever have one of those nights?

ever have one of those nights when you fall asleep before brushing your teeth?
and you wake up at three in the morning with that god awful, gloppy taste in your mouth?
so you lumber half awake into the bathroom?
and you don't turn on the light because you don't really want to wake up?
so you brush your teeth in the dark?
and you notice that the toothpaste doesn't have that minty clean taste?
but you brush anyway because it's not so bad and you just want to get back to bed?
so you rinse and stumble your clean teeth back to bed all satisfied and all?
then morning comes and you reach in the medicine cabinet for your razor?
and that's when you notice that the preparation h tube is on top of the toothpaste tube?
and it kind of gets your mind wondering?
so you check your gums to see if they are receding?
and they are?

you know, one of those kind of nights?
just wondering, that's all.

980. those who can't do ...

woody allen once observed, "those who can't do, teach, and those who can't teach, teach gym."
while i don't agree with the first part, i concur with the second.
regardless, the claim is literally old school and needs updating.
with that in mind, i'm taking a shot at it:
"those who can't do, blog, and those who can't blog, blog anyway."

again, while i might not agree with the first part, i definitely do with the last.
and if i had any self awareness skills, i would have closed this place down at post #4.
but noooo ...

(post #4 follows)

(from the files, 4/7/07) 4. 3 women from houston

on the train into manhattan today there were three women from houston sitting right in front of me.
one said, i need me some big old white sunglasses, no rhinestones though.
another said, ya know my sister needs to live the life she was given, that's all there is to it.
the third said, i don't want any of them fake handbags. i want the real thing.
they all said, i just love your hair color.

i thought to myself, keaton and her feminists sure do have their work cut out with their own kind.
listening in a little longer and concluding it was mission impossible, i then wondered, if i jumped from this moving train, could i be certain i'd die.

979. peace and bombs and intelligent design

it took us forty years from our first steps on the moon to bomb it.
and what a better way to acknowledge the feat than for our president to win the nobel peace prize.
if this isn't the death of intelligent design, i'm not sure what is.

978. another keaton birthday

this is that period of time when keaton's elliptical, age-differential path is closer to me, and thus the "gettin' old" jokes at my expense diminish somewhat.
it's why i like her birthday so much.
every october ninth she closes within three years of me until late february when she orbits back out to four years.
she's like the moon really.
i see her more clearly when she passes closer to my age.
it's as if she becomes a bigger font of some sort.

and let me tell ya, what i see, i love.
clearly or blurred for that matter.

happy birthday keaton!

977. it's always jamais auparavant

most people i know occasionally experience deja vu—that feeling you been there before.
not so for me.
i always experience jamais auparavant (rough translation: "never before").
it always happens when i go to a place i should know but feel like i've never been to before.
like this blog for instance.

976. we both have our causes

today keaton is finishing up the third leg of her three day walk (60 miles) throughout the hills of windy san francisco for breast cancer.
it is just one of her many causes that make me proud.
as for me, today i'm sitting for hours in anxious wait to support my beloved n.y. giants play yet another game.
it is one of my many causes and while i haven't asked keaton, i'm certain my total devotion to this cause has a special place in her heart somewhere—like an aortic aneurism perhaps .

and when i think about it, this is exactly why keaton and i get along so well.
we maintain a shared desire to be driven to something bigger than ourselves.
and at the end of the day, we just do it with the quiet confidence that it isn't so much what the relative merit of our cause might be but that we have one.

(although nothin' for nothin', placing my very being in the hands of the n.y. giants sunday after sunday isn't exactly like a stroll through the park. i'm just sayin'. that's all.)