"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Sunday, January 27, 2008

500. time to take stock

well cranelegs pond has reached a blogging milestone of sorts, 500 posts.
and it's time to take a break.
maybe a long break.
we'll see.

it's also time for me to take a moment to thank all my friends at cranelegs pond, those who post and those who quietly read and return to quietly read some more.
it's been fun.
i hope for you as well.
thanks again!

498. baking in the son

my son, a last year student, took me to see the villanova/notre dame basketball game yesterday.
other than the final score, it was a great day—i think my son is fully baked.
he is negotiating a tricky deal with his apartment's cable tv provider.
this is something i never thought i'd see.
you know, negotiating adult household deals.
but he is.
i'm not sure which class he learned it in but he did all the same.
great job villanova!
he's ready.
that and a firm handshake on job interviews and he's baked through and through.

(not that i'm complaining, but nothin' for nothin', the oven was a little pricey—but well worth it)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

496. a favorite summertime thing

one of my favorite summertime things to do is eavesdrop on the conversation between the backyard maple and an intruding thunder storm.

495. just as good as them

sometimes i see someone on tv or hear someone on radio and think, why them and not me, because, other than the talent part, i'm just as good.

Friday, January 25, 2008

493. set in their ways

nothing strikes me more sad than a thirty year old who is set in his ways like a ninety four year might be.
nothing to learn for sixty four more years.
seems pathetic really.

Monday, January 21, 2008

491. "you're in charge of dinner"

no words stoke my anxiety like these parting words from keaton: you're in charge of dinner.

my pallet of tastes is limited.
my understanding of what flavors go with what other flavors, confused at best.
she is pretty much a gourmet cook with the taste buds of an iron chef.
add the fact that i'm in charge because she has no idea when she'll be home, and you have the recipe for disappointment.

but i try anyway.
actually, i find a prepackaged, citrus-injected, marinaded pork loin the best bet—something, i'm proud to say, rachel ray has yet to discover.

and it always tastes very, very ... well ... injected (which, come to think of it, is probably why rachel ray hasn't talked about it much).

490. erectile dysfunction

i just saw a levitra commercial.
you know, that erectile dysfunction medicine.
you know, the one where you need to consult a doctor to make sure you are healthy enough to have sex.
the funny thing is, that if a man has a heart beat, he figures he's healthy enough to have sex.
he doesn't need no stinkin' doctor.
besides if he's gonna die, he can't think of a more pleasant way, except maybe food poisoning from kobe beef or lobster or something.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

488. 1 to 100 drummers

there is a video making the internet rounds about folks from age 1 to 100 playing the same drum.
(it takes about a 100 seconds to watch: 1 to 100 drummers)
when it was over, i wondered, what is the point?
then i thought some more and concluded the point is that i'm on the wrong side of the aging curve—thank you very much.

487. bob's top three fears

the top three things i fear most: 3) death (knocking dentists out three years ago), 2) police pullovers, and the runaway perennial winner, 1) public speaking.

speaking in front of a group of humans numbering more than three has been so debilitating that one of my great life accomplishments was navigating through college without having to give one oral report.
unfortunately, it is also what keeps me from accepting oprah's invitations to her tv show.
well, not receiving an invitation yet is probably the first reason, but when she eventually gets around to it, i plan to decline due to a conflict of important business that day.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

485. kevin trudeau and bondage shoes

just when i think cranelegs pond blog is finally reaching tens of people and i begin to feel my oats, i look at the stats of who is poking around, only to discover the same sad truth.
75% of the readers come here searching on kevin trudeau or female bondage shoes.
my guess is they are somewhat disappointed (based on the number of four letter comments i have to purge).

oh well, it does keep me balanced though, with that not-so-oated feeling.

484. bobby fischer

bobby fischer had an iq of over 180.
he used it for two things: creative chess and creative jew hating.
i think this iq stuff is hardly a predictor of smarts.

483. wegmans

i know someday, someone will build a grocery store bigger and better than wegmans, but it is hard for me too envision what that might look like.

apparently, i am shackled by a pedestrian imagination.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

482. that cowlick hair style

you know that style men have now, with those haphazard clumps sticking out, like a cowlick orgy atop the head.
what's up with that?
when did that happen?
was it when i was up in alaska for a few days in 2006?

481. finally a way to identify conspiracy theory types

it's been a long time comin'.
too long in my book.
but finally i have a bullet proof way to spot conspiracy theory types.
they wear ron paul buttons.
so as long as he is runnin' for office, i'm in pretty ... pretty ... pretty good shape.
but once he stops, it's back to the drawing board for me.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

478. pullin' teeth

i said, so ... um ... you and ... um jenny ...
my son said, what?
i said, well?
my son said, well what?
so i said, well ... what's goin' on?
he said, i'm not sure.

then i thought, man it's like pullin' teeth, but finally some answers ... i think.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

474. my own acquaintance

if only i could be my own acquaintance, i'd observe everything i'd need to fix.
in the meantime, i'll continue to shuffle along, i guess a little less self-actualized, whatever that means.