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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

running with the geese

i said, can you feel the excitement? it’s that time of year again.
keaton said, oh no, you're not going to run with the canada geese again are you?
i said, gotta hon! barefoot too! it’s what makes me a man and attracts you to me.
she said, what makes you a man is all that stuff between your legs. what attracts me to you remains one of the great mysteries in my life.
to which i sharply replied, you’ll come to learn some day that what attracts you is my running with the geese! oh yeah, and my vacuuming skills.

9 comments:

lightly said...

i see your indian name is "walking goose"

Robert Crane said...

actually my indian name is eboo sangakkara. yeah, i'm not exactly ecstatic about it either. i think the loose translation is stiff squirrel.

lightly said...

not stiff squirrel, it means tight ass

itsmecissy said...

You wish!

Pamela Beers. said...

There really is an author called Eboo Sangakkara. He wrote an e-book on how to grow mungbeans in humid climates.

Barefoot in Goose Poop may be the title for the next great American novel. Keep writing, Bobby.

Randy Johnson said...

Okay Bob, When they make the movie of your life, I think the goose chasing scene is gonna need a song, so here it is:

Bobby and the Pond Boys

Little Goose Poop
(You don't know what I got)


Okay, cue the Beach Boys music...

Well I'm not braggin' babe so don't put me down
But I've got the fastest pair of feet in town
When a goose comes up to me now he don't even try
Cause even with a pair of wings man he can’t pass me by

And his little goose poop
It don’t slow me a lot
Just a little goose poop
In it barefoot I trot

I can run through loose poop on a green grass hill
And catch a flock of honkers like it's standin' still
Yeah they flap while they jettison the poop they stored
And with muck between my toes I run to my reward

It’s just a little goose poop
It don’t slow me a lot
Just a little goose poop
In it barefoot I trot

I got a competition going with a flock on the shore
when they take off in the morning I run out that door
And if that aint enough to make you flip your lid
There's one more thing, I’m gonna write about it daddy
And comin' off the porch through the slammin’ screen
Well I blow 'em outta the water like you never seen
I get pushed out of shape and it's hard to run
But the canada geese and I are having fun

It’s just a little goose poop
It don’t slow me a lot
Just a little goose poop
In it barefoot I trot
A little goose poop
You don't know what I got
A little goose poop
Or it might be a lot

"Dear, it washes off.
Come on, let me back in the house! ...please?"

Robert Crane said...

ah, for chrissakes randy, i'm jerkin' a tear here. that was beautiful. good to have you back!

Randy Johnson said...

Thanks Bob! And I know what you mean about the song... Every time I sing it, my wife starts crying.

itsmecissy said...

...and the dog starts hoooooowling and the donkey starts braaaaaying...