"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Saturday, July 10, 2010

things my mother never told me

1. the hair on the top of my head would some day reroute and come out my ears, nose and shoulders.
2. a similar process would occur to the muscles in my arms, shoulders and chest.
3. doing 25 pushups a day might require the full amount of time.
4. reading will require loud audio versions.
5. audio will require big font reading versions.
6. premature ejaculation will become very, very mature.
7. my pinky toes will die way before the rest of me.
8. a perfectly seared porterhouse will willingly be replaced by a glop of plain yogurt.
9. overcoming 1 thru 8 requires a daily dose of the right conversation, engaged with the right person and complimented by the right glass of wine.
10. number 9 actually works.

what did your mother not tell you?


itsmecissy said...

No jumping on trampolines after age 40.

Pam said...

As we get older, men and women aren't really that different after all, except for the physically obvious...AND that's debatable.

lightly said...

sorry pam i have to disagree , as men get older we do differ from woman

women bitch less , men bitch more.
women become people's people, men we just become the people we feared as kids.

Robert Crane said...

i use a trampoline to get into bed at night. it is true that i don't do backward triples anymore though.

Pam said...

The problem with aging for both men and women...when you jump on a trampoline, then stop, parts of you continue jumping. Or is it jiggling?


Robert Crane said...

oh let me tell you the half of it. just imagine.
when i used to trampoline all naked and all, i almost poked my eye out with all the goings on. jiggling is a kind word for what was happening.