"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

it's a bad day

i'm having one of those days.
sorta like the time i mistook the prep-h for toothpaste, but not as fun.

first, i had to send an email to confront a good friend about a money matter that has gotten out of hand, the outcome of which i'm unsure.
i hate confrontation.
i really do.
i hate it like i hate asteroids plummeting to the earth to destroy it.
i know that's strong but it's true.

then, i received a threatening email from some scam guy i pissed off in my fibomercials and scams blog, demanding that i remove a post, which i did.
but boy i went down swinging, which may fetch me another threat, which will start the whole thing all over again.
why do i do that to myself.
i'm such an idiot.
i think it's because i have a partially damaged brain from the time when i was three weeks old and fell off the table in one of those old fashion baby weighing machines.
when my mom took me to the emergency room with a hematoma the size of oprah, she told them it was a failed suicide attempt, that i had post partum depression before it became the next big thing.
i don't think they bought it though, but that's a whole other story my mom categorically denies.
anyway, i think it explains pretty much anything that needs explainin'.

the truth is, all i want is to find a job.
preferably one in which money is exchanged for work, and if healthcare is a part of it, all the better.
and if i can make enough to pay for legal fees, then holy cow that would be swell.

well, i'm gonna take a walk and shake this terrible state i'm in.
my blood pressure is probably higher than the IQ of me and my brothers all added up, which could put it around 157 or something that high.

i know.
i'll try to think of something real smart to share with you because right now i'm about as dumb as tar in winter.
and that's not good for pond business.
but i'll warn you right now, it's gonna take a lot of trying and i can't promise i'll come through for ya.

we'll see.
i'm just out of sorts today.
i'll snap out of it, especially if crystal and lee are in the amercian idol finals after tonight!
that would be terrific!
that certainly would.
because i picked them like back in 2003 or something that crazy for chrissakes.

(uh oh, i think i'm coming down with j.d. salinger disease to boot)


itsmecissy said...

Me too, bob, I'm having one of those days also. I'm home sicker than a dog and not feeling like doing anything but lying around like a slug. What a waste of sick leave!

Sending you positive thoughts from the Left Coast. . .

lightly said...

josh has bigger issues then worrying about you, this is usually the last bastion of a ass going down.

leave him for a bit and he will give you enough ammo to hang himself

Randy Johnson said...

Earlier today the sky was blue, that air was calm, and one of my favorite restaurants had just called to tell me I won their local business card drawing for a free lunch (who said there was no such thing?) ...and then with the optimism of a moth beguiled by a 100 watt light-bulb, I wandered down here to the pond with my flip-flops and sunscreen to see what was going on, and as I began to read about what a bad it was, the phone rang again. This time it was my wife calling from work to tell me her car had a flat tire. What, no free lunch? Holy cripe! Bob and Itsmecissy, look what you started! Well misery loves company, so let me pull up a chair and tell you what happened next:

“When did it go flat?” I asked. “I don’t know” she said, as though it was an unfair question. “One of the employees just looked out the window and noticed it was flat.” Well, with all of them pressed up against the glass sizing up the situation, it soon became obvious that I, being only 22 miles away was in the best position to open the trunk and change the tire. With that news the clouds gathered, and aided by their good friend the wind, followed me down to my wife’s place of employment. I opened the trunk to find that the spare tire had been carelessly left in the spare tire compartment, underneath a board, below the carpet, beneath the trunk-mat, underneath a couple folded lawn chairs, bags of rock salt, various notebooks, a large tablecloth, an emergency kit, blankets, a gym bag, extra shoes, a handy cargo net full of alleged cargo, and a variety of other stuff, all of which had to be pitched into the parking lot in order to flip, unlatch, and turn the various gismos that would eventually release the tire, the jack, the jack handle, and the lug-nut wrench from their factory installed positions. Well this must have been quite a sight, because the clouds began laughing until they cried. And they cried real hard for about an hour.

As it turned out, the correct answer to my unfair question “When did it go flat?” was “quite awhile ago” according to the guy at the tire shop, because all the clues suggested that the tire had been going round and round in an un-inflated condition more than long enough to render it un-reparable. We’ll skip the part where the money rushed out of my wallet faster than the air rushed out of my wife’s tire. Let’s jump ahead to where I’m home, relatively dry, and back here at the pond. The rain can pour and the wind can blow and I don’t care anymore because... What the hell was that noise?

Okay, I’m back again; this time to report that the hot tub cover just blew across the yard, and I’m no longer relatively dry. In fact I’m soaked for the second time today. It didn’t just flip open like it does sometimes in a windstorm. This time it broke the big metal arm (that holds it up) clean in two. It doesn’t look repairable to me, unless it can be welded. I’m looking at it now, just outside the window there. Maybe I’ll call my wife and ask her to drive home and fix it.

...There I go again, flying into that 100 watt light bulb.

Robert Crane said...

itsme - sorry to hear you are having one as well.

and poor randy there has made my day look iike a trip to bermuda for godssake.

finally lightly - i hope you are right my friend. but these guys are wearing me down.

Randy Johnson said...

Funny you mentioned Bermuda Bob. Maybe we all stumbled into some sort of cosmic Bermuda Triangle yesterday, but hey it’s a new day, the sun came up right on schedule, and we live on the best planet within miles of here, so let’s all put on our happy faces and... Hey! What the hell was that noise...

...Oh, it was just the sound of the phone not ringing. Well that’s a relief! Think I’ll grab the want ads, and go collect that free lunch I paid for yesterday.

And seriously Bob, I hope today’s a better day, and tomorrow the trend continues...

Robert Crane said...

Randy - you sure do have a word with ways! and it is a better day, thanks.