"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Sunday, May 16, 2010

(from the files) 520. always the last to find out

last night my brother said, hey did ya hear about that whole big deal about paris hilton and her secret sex tape?
i said, get out.
he said, no, it's true. her boyfriend videotaped them doin' ... you know—
i said, no, i don't know. tell me for chrissakes!
then he said, do i have to spell it out for ya? geez, just use your imagination.
so i did and came up with some unsavory stuff all right!
then i said, wow! no kiddin'! who else do ya think knows?
and he said, oh pretty much everyone.
so i asked, how come i'm always the last to find out about this stuff?
then he said, because everyone knows you're a big blabber mouth.
then i said, ya know i can keep a secret. in fact, dad told me something last week about another famous celebrity that would blow your socks off.
he asked, oh yeah, who?
then i said, two words: r-o-c-k h-u-d-s-o-n. but that's all you're gonna hear from these lips.


Vandy said...

Seriously, you didn't know?????? It was all over the news and everything. Paris is the first person in the world where a sex tape actually helped her career....after all it was the best acting she has ever done!!!!

Randy Johnson said...

Using a sex tape to help your career? What a great strategy!
....Yeah you're right, it probably wouldn't have worked for Rock.