last night my brother said, hey did ya hear about that whole big deal about paris hilton and her secret sex tape?
i said, get out.
he said, no, it's true. her boyfriend videotaped them doin' ... you know—
i said, no, i don't know. tell me for chrissakes!
then he said, do i have to spell it out for ya? geez, just use your imagination.
so i did and came up with some unsavory stuff all right!
then i said, wow! no kiddin'! who else do ya think knows?
and he said, oh pretty much everyone.
so i asked, how come i'm always the last to find out about this stuff?
then he said, because everyone knows you're a big blabber mouth.
then i said, ya know i can keep a secret. in fact, dad told me something last week about another famous celebrity that would blow your socks off.
he asked, oh yeah, who?
then i said, two words: r-o-c-k h-u-d-s-o-n. but that's all you're gonna hear from these lips.