"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Monday, January 3, 2011

man it's cold

it's the kind of numbing cold james joyce called scrotum tightening, which pretty much sums it up, but i am thankful for it is enough to let me joy in simple warmth, the sigh of my dog, a bowl of soup and the thawing touch of someone i lovesome things i too often take for granted.

21 comments:

Pam said...

Did you say you had warm meatball soup with your dog?

lightly said...

well if you damn cover up the scrotum maybe the tightening won't happen.

itsmecissy said...

"The sea, the snotgreen sea, the scrotumtightening sea."
(Ulysses).

It's actually "cold" (maybe not in a "tightening" way) here on the Left Coast; 37 degs driving into work this morning. Will get to a high of 53 degs. Wish I was home by the fire, kitty cats in my lap, starring out the window.

Pam said...

Yipes...37 degrees in California. It's the same temp here in upstate NY today. We consider that a heat wave.

I thought "things" got smaller when it got cold, not tighter.

Robert Crane said...

itsme - i'm impressed. he never actually used that expression to describe cold but i took some liberties. and of course you are a liberty buster of sorts.

pam and lightly - i'm not sure what to say other than you're me peeps.

now if you don't mind, i need to execute a little fire wood caper.

itsmecissy said...

It's snowing in Los Angeles right now! And in Las Vegas where my baby sis lives.

itsmecissy said...

Liberty buster, hmmmm. Not sure if that's an insult or a compliment.

Robert Crane said...

eh, don't worry about it. consider it a compliment with options. and as far as the snow in LA/Vegas, i'm sure palin has already blamed healthcare reform and the godless hand of socialism as the cause.

lightly said...

speaking of scrotum scratching, bob you need to bring back fibermercials

Pam said...

SNOWING in sunny California!!! Scrotum scratching! Socialism! My oh my.

As far as snow in Vegas...what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Randy Johnson said...

Our cold snap up here in the Pacific Northwest may finally be ending. It’s been in the teens and twenties for a week, but it seems much warmer this morning. I walked out on the porch at sunrise while it was still quiet, and I could actually hear my scrotum unraveling.

itsmecissy said...

Thanks for sharing Randy!

Pam said...

Randy, words create pictures in my mind and some things are better not envisioned. I was fine 'til you started unraveling your...balls. So, I'm right there with itsme, Thanks for sharing, Randy!

Randy Johnson said...

Well that sure is a double standard! Oh yeah, it’s perfectly fine for Bob’s scrotum to tighten up in the wintertime over there on the East Coast, but the minute things warm up out here on the West Coast all of a sudden I'm the bad guy. Oh yes, I see how you ladies are!

Robert Crane said...

holy smokes! this is a fine mess bob. i'm beginning to wish jimmy joyce never wrote ulysses & that i just said it was friggin cold. it's like the east coast crips versus west coast bloods around here all of a sudden. well if they armed themselves with frozen porkchops anyway.

Randy Johnson said...

Well I spoke too soon about that West Coast heat wave. Cold air and snow are returning to the area, so once again as the saying goes “what goes up must come down” (and vice versa.) Now before you pull out your pork chops ladies, I’ve cleaned up my act. I’m talking about the mercury dropping here …that’s right the MERCURY! The guy on the news this morning said it’s falling like a hot August testicle. Now …can we all just get along?

Robert Crane said...

why do i think this last little plea from randy did not help matters?

well if anything we're having a ball with this.

Pam said...

With all this cold weather we're having nationwide, I hope your spherical presence doesn't shrink too much for the ladies in your lives, gentlemen.

lightly said...

not sure what's randy's problem is, i live in the north west a lot more north by the way and there is no cold.
its that or we are of the larger scrotum variety up here.

Randy Johnson said...

…well we’d love to get to lightly’s last point there, but that’s all the time we have this week ladies and gentlemen. I hope you’ve enjoyed our discussion about things that go up and down opposite the ol’ mercury in the backyard thermometer. Be sure to tune in to next week’s show when we discuss “the seasonal effects on things that poke through women’s sweaters.”

Okay is this mic off? …#@%! That was a %&$# disaster! Next week we’re filming outside …and start auditioning sweater models. We need to get our #%$* ratings back up!

itsmecissy said...

As my niece says
"It's been a tit bit nipply outside."