"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Monday, January 12, 2009

795. 2008 diet of the year!

i can't believe it.
now there is "diet of the year".
(can an annual diet awards show be just around the corner? "the slimmies" perhaps?)

i don't know.
it makes me nervous to think that trimming down techniques can come in and out of fashion like skirt lengths.

oh well, to the 2008 best diet announcement.

"the candidates this year are: "the best life diet", "the not so best life diet", "the rather bland best life diet", and "the really good death diet".
and the big fat envelope please.
the winner of the 2008 best diet is: "the best life diet"!"

and who proclaimed this to be so?
none other than my favorite warrior of the waistline, oprah.
and where can you read about it?
in "o!" magazine.
and who a contibuting writer to "o!", as well as frequent guest to the show and pay-to-listen radio station?
bob greene.
and who designed this award winning, fashionable, "best life diet"?
huh—bob greene.

sounds to me like the fix is in, and not very apologetically i might add.

so here we go again.
oprah gains weight!
ohhhh!
oprah loses weight!
ahhhh!
gains—ohhhh!
loses—ahhhh!
if it were set to music it would be pachelbel's canon in d fat.

and the public can't get enough.

so it is with this in mind that i kick off 2009 with a new diet.
the cranelegs group diet!
let's all drop a shared 200 pounds together and immediately.
shed oprah.

5 comments:

Pam said...

Gee, I haven't read about or seen "O" in ages. So, she's put on weight again? And I care...because?

Maybe she needs to fire Bob Greene and hire someone who can motivate her to go jogging every day.

itsmecissy said...

It's all about the "O" - oh, sorry, that's Overstock.com.

I've never been an Oprah fan and it is too bad she's still fighting the same old battle (I can sympathize) BUT how much money does one person need? I saw her whining on Larry King the other night.

Yes, let's shed OPRAH once and for all.

Ever notice that as she ages she looks more and more like one of those pug dogs?

Keaton's Mom said...

I want to join your group, but may I just shed Oprah? How much is this going to cost me? $19.99? Oh, and I get something free too?

lightly said...

diet is just how we eat food, i noticed bob did not specify which diet, for all we know it could be burgers and fries every friday diet

itsmecissy said...

Probably the "See Food" diet.

I "see food" and then I eat it.