jake persimmons, special lemon agent to the florida board of agriculture, reported that there have been six such suicides in the past week alone.
he believes it may be related to global warming but isn't prepared to comment officially until he has had a chance to review his findings with al gore.
until that time, he is recommending that homemakers securely store any lemon juicer that might be sitting around on the counter, as it seems to be the instrument of choice.
(warning: the following image is graphic and might be disturbing to some fruit lovers.)
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