"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Friday, December 19, 2008

(from the files) 156. benny and christian erotica

benny said, you know my wife made me watch some stupid, female, christian, “erotica” movie last night.
i said, wow that must have been fun.
he said, no, it was boring. way too much breathing and scriptures and kissing and touching and out-of-focus close-ups.
i said, hmm, does sound boring.
benny said, i fell asleep, and when i woke up, there was a pillow and blanket for me with a message not to bother to come to bed.
i said, that doesn’t sound good.
benny said, it was all right. i got all set up and watched a porn dvd i have hidden behind the portrait of her mother.
i said, was it any good.
he said, any good? now that’s erotica, especially this one group scene in a janitor’s closet.
i said sarcastically, sounds romantic to me. why don’t you watch it with your wife?
benny said, yeah, good idea, i mean what's the worse thing that can happen?
then i said, and just as an aside, did you make that change to your will to give me your ping golf clubs?

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