"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

holy vodafone!

oh baby!
my luck is changing!
apparently, i have been chosen to receive 850,000 smackers to celebrate the 150th anniversary of ... now fasten your seat belts ... to celebrate ... you're not going to believe this ... the 150th anniversary of ... holy cow ... vodafone.
yeah, i think they do telecommuting or something similar sounding.
anyway, tella-schmella, who cares!
how about them apples!

as for those naysayers among you who don't believe me, just feast your eyes on the rather stellar announcement i just received from the board of trustees:

Grant/Donation 2011
Ref Num: (VNP 977)

Congratulations to you as we bring to your notice that Vodafone company has chosen you by the board of trustees as one of the final recipients of this year promotion cash Grant/Donation to celebrate the 150th anniversary celebration and your email address have emerged a Grant of {$850,000.00 USD} Eight hundred and fifty thousand United State Dollars.

and so professionally worded, i might add!
150 years old!
and they picked my email!
of all people!
i never win a thing!
no more mr. loser here!
i can't wait to make my claim.

but i have to do it really fast, because the crackerjack math guy or gal, who did the calculation, must have entered the wrong year the company started up or something because 2011 minus 150 is like 1861, which isn't anywhere near 1984, when the company was founded.
so i'm figuring the faster i pay for the bank transfer fee (just a measly $238.19), the sooner i can deposit their hot little check in my savings account.
the only thing left after someone over there eventually points out to the board of trustees that their little celebration is off by about 123 years, will be the empty cries and crocodile tears of vodafon's executive team, as they are left with only their multi-million dollar separation packages to wallow in.
talk about your premature miscalculation.

oh well, god what a great bob day!

oh i know.

"but bob what about cranelegs pond going forward?"
at this time i have no plans to end this madness.
i will continue to blog.
maybe not as frequently, but i'll continue just the same.
i'm not about to let $850,000 change me.
i'll be the same old bob, just more loosey-goosey.
might even use more salty language too, since i won't give a flying f%*k!.
don't know really.
we'll see how i do.
but hey, right now i got to get me a certified check out to someone named Sir Alaine Mundipunetty CFOH (sounds very high up in the organization) licketty split.


itsmecissy said...

I can do better than that bob. The other day I got a phishing scam and had to laugh at the disclaimer (below) at the end of the email. The scammers were warning me about fraudsters claiming to be legit:

Please note that some fraudsters are claiming to be the Executive Chairman, Chief Mrs. Farida Mzamber Waziri (AIG rtd.) or staff of The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission have recently been sending phony
e-mails/letters and also calling unsuspecting persons, with intent to defraud them. It is important to note that these fraudsters are criminals engaged in Advanced Fee Fraud known in Nigeria as 419. Every day, people throughout the world are falling victim to scams of one kind or another. But remember - if it sounds too good to be true, it is probably a scam. In the circumstance, we unreservedly advice you to dissociate yourself from all correspondence and transactions entered into based on evidently
fraudulent and fictitious claims.

Now that takes the cake!!!

Pamela Beers. said...

Now you can both afford a Horse Pucky shirt with all that free money floating around. The shirt really says it all. ;-)