sometimes i feel like i'm banging my head against the wall with all this blogging, as my dreams of power, fame and witty exchanges with letterman and oprah seem like lifeless fireflies, dead from the icy swat of winter's stark, soulless hand.
then i get an email like the one below from little sally from brandon, vermont:
"mr. bob, i just want to thank you very much for making my day a little brighter because you make my stepmommy laugh almost every day and she has been so sad lately and when she is sad she is so mean to me. i don't know who you are but maybe you could marry my real mommy when she gets out of the special building she is in. it has bars is all i know. i guess that is pretty neat though. i wrote her a letter telling her about you and my plan. i think she will like you very much. also, don't forget, she is a good cook. probably better than keaton. i think you would make a funny daddy and i could bring you into school and you could make the kids stop laughing at me because they would laugh at you. that would be very good. anyway please thank you."
folks it's emails like little sally's that keep me going.
even if i didn't get one from little sally.
even if the one above is like the one i would get from little sally, if her stepmommy would ever read this blog.
even if it was completely made-up because i really don't know who little sally is, how little sally is doing, or if little sally even lives in brandon, vermont for chrissakes.
but it's the idea that maybe there are little sally's out there.
that maybe my email system is broken something fierce.
that maybe that's why the little sallys of the brandon, vermonts can't tell me what a difference i make in their otherwise miserable lives.
that then, and only then, would i think this is all worth it.
i'm just losing my grip.
not too different from the way wilbert pendergotts across the way kinda lost his grip after he got hit upside the head with a bolt of lightning.
in my case, probably from all the wall head banging, if i were the venturing-a-guess sort.