"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Friday, October 15, 2010

need a flu shot

not for me.
for my ill pc.
it's got some sort of virus that keeps coming back according to ed norton, my crackerjack virus doctor.
(sometimes the deep, ridiculing sarcasm i want to impart is hard to manufacture with only these simple word tools at my disposal. so i've given such needed clarity a heavy dose of color you don't see every day to help in the impartment department.)
and do you think doc norton can get rid of it?
and now the poor, dying thing is getting a rundll32 abscess, whatever that is, every time i log off, prompting me to send the medical charts to microsoft for their second opinion.
oh yeah, like they have time for this, what with all their "an apple today keeps doctor norton away" problems already.

god dammit!
sick as a dog my pc is.
i know it's only a matter of time before it just keels over and pukes blue all over my treasured flat screen monitor, gifted to me by stunning and wonderful keaton.

makes me wonder who incubates and disseminates this sickness anyway?
what lowly, mutated appendage of the human dna chain finds this a satisfying undertaking.
don't they realize what they may bring to a crashing halt, flailing about the floor like a rabid raccoon in its final lunge for life.

"craniac", my beloved laptop, that's what!
where i transcribe all my mental carrying on, bringing the faithful only the finest man thoughts this side of exit 20, route 78, new jersey.

oh wait, another message from doc norton.
"active trojan horse encountered"
"close all open applications."
"need to take action immediately."

see what i'm dealin' with here!

why those no good, motherfuxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


lightly said...

bob bob bob listen up sweet cheeks norton is doing a fine job but he does need a bit of help. you have got to stop visiting all those porn sites. i would have thought but now you would have caught on but alas you still slow in the head so let me help.
when you get a message on the screen that tell you you have won a prize ignore them thats just a rouse to get to to open a porn/virus infected web site

there used to be a web site called fibermercials that warned people about these things. can't remember who owned the site but i recommend you find him and ask for his advice

itsmecissy said...

I hear you bob. My Blackberry gave me the "white screen of death" over the weekend and I'm STILL trying to get my life back together. After the Verizon store uploaded new software, they found they couldn't "harvest" (like organs?) my address book so that means my Bluetooth in my car navigation system doesn't work either.

I'm lost here brother!!!