i have a mailbox folder for spam.
stuff goes there automatically if it's deemed unsavory, or if i auto reroute email there, for instance, like anything i might get from oprah (don't ask, it's part of the impasse).
anyway, this folder called spam is not good enough.
i need another folder for insalubrious invitations.
insalubrious you ask?
oh, you betcha ya!
like the one i just got yesterday to "hook up with a cougar".
now for some of my more, shall we say, "naive" readers (i won't mention any names pam), this particular kind of cougar is not the sort of wild cat that can put a pretty good tear in your couch.
it's more the sort that can put a pretty good tear on the back of a strapping young man.
specifically, it's a "mature" woman who is interested in being wild all right, as long as the object of her wild is a young stud at least twenty five years her junior.
so apparently one of these cats wants a piece of one of me.
now forgetting the stud part for the time being—it's really not important that i am—we're talkin' 85 year old women here.
old enough to be my mother.
and i love my mom to death but the idea of ... well ... i just don't need to go there now, do i?
so you see what i mean about needing another folder.
calling it spam is an insult to spam.
it's spum, if it's anything.
yeah, that's it.
i need a spum folder and i need it stat!