"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

the cougar invite

i have a mailbox folder for spam.
stuff goes there automatically if it's deemed unsavory, or if i auto reroute email there, for instance, like anything i might get from oprah (don't ask, it's part of the impasse).
anyway, this folder called spam is not good enough.
i need another folder for insalubrious invitations.
insalubrious you ask?
oh, you betcha ya!

like the one i just got yesterday to "hook up with a cougar".
now for some of my more, shall we say, "naive" readers (i won't mention any names pam), this particular kind of cougar is not the sort of wild cat that can put a pretty good tear in your couch.
it's more the sort that can put a pretty good tear on the back of a strapping young man.
specifically, it's a "mature" woman who is interested in being wild all right, as long as the object of her wild is a young stud at least twenty five years her junior.

so apparently one of these cats wants a piece of one of me.
now forgetting the stud part for the time being—it's really not important that i am—we're talkin' 85 year old women here.
old enough to be my mother.
and i love my mom to death but the idea of ... well ... i just don't need to go there now, do i?

so you see what i mean about needing another folder.
calling it spam is an insult to spam.
it's spum, if it's anything.
yeah, that's it.
i need a spum folder and i need it stat!


Pam said...

My how things have changed. Forty years ago I used to call men younger than me, "jellybeans". Twenty years later, those "younger thans" were called "stud muffins". There was never a name for the older woman. If grandma is now a cougar, what do we call you younger men..."boy toys", "cockerels", "chicken bait"?! You get the idea.

You're right Bob. All this time I thought a cougar was a big cat that would tear a person to shreds. Then again...

itsmecissy said...

Jeez, just THINKING about being involved with some "Boy Toy" 25 years my junior makes me, well, let's not go there. What could we possibly have in common? (OK except for THAT! (shows you where my priorities are I guess).

One thing he might be useful for is all this computer stuff. Who knows all this Interwebs stuff better than some 20-something?

Ladygoodwood said...

Oh my goodness! the thought of my mother and me Auntie Mary being The Cougar Twins LOL!

These women must be VERY confident in the Mrs Robinson class! Me? Well I prefer the older man, that way he always stays grateful LOL


Robert Crane said...

pam, cissy and lady, if i were only 25 years younger ...