i'm beginning to think that this blob called the human species is like a school of fish headed into stark, oxygen-depleted waters.
oh, the gang might make a sharp turn here and another turn there.
oh, a few stragglers might break away from the pack or simply lag sheepishly behind.
oh, a couple brave soles might even sound the warning trumpets, that is if fish could do such a thing.
but at the end of the ocean day, i still have this sense that there is an inevitability to its fate.
that it will cease—the universe no worse or no better for the visit.
now i know this is not the stuff of glass half full or partly sunny thoughts.
i also know it's not particularly witty or grin-worthy.
but i've been thinkin' about this way too much lately.
thinkin' that if these are the cards to be played, then what do i do while they're being dealt?
unfortunately, im not well equipped to deal with such quandaries.
i'm kinda so-so about god and a purpose driven life.
i tend to think of those ideas as the residue of human reasoning gone lazy.
that probably registers as a point of concern among some of my good friends here at the pond.
sorry, i just do.
the good news is that you are so much better off if you think differently about such matters.
believe you me.
this is the stuff of angst when shackled by a skeptical mind.
but it's not like i'm a total loser.
i actually consider myself to be a pragmatic spiritualist of sorts.
for instance, i can listen to the wind and trees converse for hours on end, or watch in envious awe as a red-tailed hawk hovers effortlessly above a field, or strum a perfect chord to a song i'm trying to pull from out of my heart,
and i enjoy such endeavors because they are as basic and rock solid as concrete really.
cheap to boot.
very practical and very soothing indeed.
like a natural dietary supplement for my being that actually delivers on the promise.
i guess that's all well and good but so what?
i still have this nagging question hanging over me.
and when i poke at it, i keep coming back to the same thing.
it's hard to turn a tanker away from a sand bar fifty feet away when all you are is a loose screw on the toilet seat in the engine crew quarters' head.
the only thing i can do is tighten my grip up as best i can and hope the others are doing the same.
well, that's where i always land anyway.
i need to tighten things up.
i need to tighten up what the prior generation passed along to me before passing it on to the generation following.
and let me be clear, this is no time for garbage in/garbage out.
it is a time for everything in/better thing out.
that is what i can do.
now, i suppose "better thing" is up for interpretation.
but that's where the pragmatic spiritualism comes in.
speaking of which, if you don't mind, i have a deer friend i need to see.
she doesn't say much but she sure has a way of pointing me in the right direction when it comes to "better thing" destinations.