"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Thursday, April 8, 2010

the allure of delusion

some people are attracted to folks who wear hats.
others drift towards causes of selflessness.
still others find windex fascinating.
i follow the allure of delusion, like firing off snappy one liners to oprah's probing questions.
or telling larry david i have better things to do than keeping his tv show alive with another crisp, crackling scripts.

i don't know.
it just seems so much more promising than the alternative—those pesky realities that always get in the way.

what allures you?
and even though i didn't leave you with many additional choices, please try to be original.


Randy Johnson said...

What am I attracted to? I’m attracted to doors. I like to open a good solid door (especially old ornate ones) and step right through that alluring doorway. Why? Well because doors can transport me from one place to another in a single step. Try that without a door! Ha! You’d have to take several steps at least; maybe a taxi, or hop a train to get from one place to another. But with a door; a front door, a back door, a courtroom door, a church door, a saloon door, a museum door, a cellar door, an attic door, I can leave my world behind, and step into someone else’s world with just one smooth stride.

I like doors so much that if I could have any conceivable super-human power I wouldn’t be faster than a speeding bullet, or able to leap over or see through buildings. No, I would have the ability to be welcome to walk through any door in the world. No, not so I could walk into the vault at the bank, or casino; and yes, invisibility seekers I guess technically this would allow me to walk into women’s locker rooms, but without that icky voyeur feeling you’d have to contend with; and because I would be seen, most of the women would probably wrap up in a towel anyway, but God bless the few that wouldn’t bother.

Anyway, after the obligatory trip to the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader’s locker room, I think I’d spend most of my time in mysterious old homes and barns all over the country, visiting over a cup of coffee, or sweet tea, or cold beer, or whiskey, with the fine folks who live their lives there. Maybe I’d drop by the White House for a little Oval Office visit, or poke around the basement at the Smithsonian, or the attic at Monticello.

…and Europe! Oh how I would look forward to visiting Europe!

knock ...knock …knock

Robert Crane said...

Randy, great answer. now the only thing i'd be concerned about when walking thru doors is of course passing into a parallel universe. i like the one i'm in, plus contrary to my adventurous persona, i'm not good in unusual places, especially if they are of the parallel sort. but, hey, that's just me.

thanks for the comment.

itsmecissy said...

Bearded men, good thing my husband has one.