"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Thursday, September 3, 2009

964. a really bad day for keaton

(as i matter of full disclosure, i obtained keaton's permission to share this with you. you will understand why this is important soon enough.)

keaton walked through the front door looking unusually forlorn.
her shoulders drooped, her back curled and the corners of her mouth frowned.
i asked, okay, what's wrong? another long day of dumb meetings?
she said, no!
i persisted, did your boss yell at you?
she sighed, no.
i tried one last time, well you look like you're about to die. what happened?
she said, i had camel-toe all day long.

i had to think about what she said.
and when it finally settled in, i wasn't sure what to say.
so i began to nervously laugh and talk at the same time.
i chuckled, oh no! not that! are you sure?
she said, take a look for yourself.
i sheepishly looked down, i mean it's not every day one gets such an offer.
and wow!
she had a very bad day indeed!
just gut wrenching.

and it was precisely at that moment when my mind raced to ask her how long she thought she could go without water, when a stroke of uncommon common sense overcame my urge to perform what would have proven to be a monumental manstake.

so i poured her a glass of wine instead.

2 comments:

itsmecissy said...

Whew, averting yet another frozen pork chop!

Robert "Cranelegs" Crane said...

actually, the frozen pork chop has proven to be quite an effective manstake reduction technique(mrt; a.k.a. "mr. t")