"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Thursday, August 6, 2009

945. on job fairs

here's what a job fair is like.

i waited in line to sign in with other people who i hate to say i saw as my competition and therefore hoped were dumber than me or had some sort of challenge (speech, mental, of that nature).
eventually i registered and got a nice little portfolio and name tag, and then i was pointed to the entrance where dreams of work and health coverage awaited.
there were 26 dream-makers to be exact.

now right off the bat, not all of them were right for me.
"sleepy's bedroom showcase inc." for instance made me yawn and tired.
"new horizons computer learning center" had no jobs, just costly training classes for me to take so that i might be able to land a job which is why i was there to begin with.
"niagara conservation" wanted people who could speak mandarin chinese, which i told them was my second choice of foreign language but took latin instead (that did not seem to impress them though).
"vitamin shoppe industries, inc." seemed way to new agey.
"superior services" sounded like a dumb name for a company.
and the list goes on.

in addition to the chinese joint, i stood on line at three potential employers: avaya, met life, and k-force.
the problem: not a good job karma scene.
there were hundreds of tired, poor and huddled unemployed stalking for a one minute "opportunity" with one tired, poor and unhuddled employed person.
and i have to tell you, the one minute was weird.

as i approached i could see the eyes of these corporate sacrificial souls glazed over and i could smell the staleness of their weary breath.
they were as close to comatose as one could be but still able to speak.
my strategy, be humorous, always my fallback.
so i tried to be witty, which was akin to doing stand-up at a nursing home.
got nowhere fast.

my pseudo step daughter, alix, didn't fare any better.
in fact, she had one numb-skull tell her to work in retail, "something upscale like chico's for a year", then come back.
i had to buy her a lobster roll at a sushi bar to pull her off the ledge.

so there it is.
got another one in a week, and with no interviews in the near future, i'll be doing this blogging a little longer.
might even make it to 1000 after all.


lightly said...

I hear from many of the so called experts that the recession is over.
i assume if you looking out your 40th floor window you have no clue whats happening on the ground.
i went to witness one of these job fairs and man i have seen animals lead to the slaughter but hell this was the lemmings taking there final run.

and for the record bob a job fair is no place to go job hunting.
the next big job market is going to be farming i would highly recommend getting in that environment now.

itsmecissy said...

How about a crab grass farm?