"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

933. about my navel fetish

i don't know if this makes me weird or not, but i'm a serious navel guy.
i think they are sexy, especially the perfectly formed, deep inney types, and if they are on a woman, all the more better.

i'm pretty sure this fascination is the result of my own navel being so disturbing.
it's wide, deep and desolate.
i don't get why either.
i mean there are two things the doctor has to get right at birth for a boy in my circles: the navel and the circumcision.
and if you are going to screw something up, my money is on the circumcision.

but nooooo ... my doctor couldn't get the navel right.

the closest thing to it in the natural world is an impact crater, like that one in the picture below.

my son even dragged me into school once to confirm his wild story of me being struck by a comet while napping in the hammock.
although i felt dirty for even telling him that beaut, i complied because in the life of a sixteen year old boy, confirmation of such matters can make or break you.

don't get me wrong, a navel the size of a six person hot tub can have its advantages.
it used to be cool when i was twenty-seven and so-called friends would phone me from the local pub, offering to pick me up and drive me home because it was free body shot hour.
but after a while i realized it wasn't the kind of foundation on which lasting friendships were built.

now at age 57 the body shots get old real quick, although i still oblige them over at the adult community center every new years eve.

but all that's just me coming up with self-serving excuses.
the point is i may have a sick fetish of some sort.


lightly said...

okay i have a foot fetish (only female feet i have my limitations)
but bob you are one sick puppy.

Pam said...

I thought navels were oranges.

itsmecissy said...




Robert "Cranelegs" Crane said...

i guess the votes are in and i need help.
by the way thanks for the wiki link itsmecissy!
did ya see the one on that woman?
now that's what i'm talking about.
i brought up the imagein pant and i'm looking at the pixels in detail.
oh baby!

itsmecissy said...

yeah, I thought you'd like her, you pig!