what is it about me and dental hygienists?
i always lie to them.
just yesterday it happened again.
and i hate myself for it.
hygienist: so bob have you been feeling any discomfort or pain in your mouth?
[full answer: no. not if i don't touch any teeth or drink any fluids or chew or breathe.]
hygienist: well that's good. have you been flossing?
me: oh yes, every day. at least once. maybe twice.
[full answer: every day i have steak, which is once or twice a year, no thanks to keaton's no meat infliction.]
hygienist: have you noticed any bleeding from your gums?
me: no, can't say i have.
[full answer: i mean there's plenty of blood in the sink, as much as a half pint some days, but i figure it must be from tb or something other than my gums.]
hygienist: have you been following the gum care instructions from your periodontist?
me: oh yes.
[full answer: oh yes, no i haven't.]
hygienist: hmm, i see.
[full answer: what, like you're really a hygienist anyway?]