"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

( a year ago i wrote) 829. the man pecs to man breasts transition

it's started.
i can't deny it any more.
although keaton does, the mirror tells no lies.
i am in man pec to man breast transition and it hurts.
hurts deep my friends.
currently i'm in that no man's land of chest chunks.
no longer chiseled pecs, which i did proudly bare once upon a time thank you very much!
yet not quite man breasts—those gelatinous lumps or whatever description is the complete opposite of perky steel.

they are in transition and all those push-ups and bench-presses i do simply slow down the inevitable, full and complete deterioration.
they do not stop it.
they do not reverse it.
they only delay it.

so sad.
my chest chunks are well within the gravitational pull now.
not much i can do but release an occasional whimper or flip all the mirrors around or both.

alas, just another not so subtle attack on a new front in the deconstruction of bob.

[update 03/30/10: keaton has taken to discard her old bras in my underwear drawer. in most state jurisdictions i'm aware of that is tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment. and if she doesn't watch her p's and q's, she's gonna find her nicely preserved buttocks on the wrong side of a big fat lawsuit. that's what i'm talking about.]


lightly said...

I find if i wear baggy Hawaiian shirts that little flaw just disappears

Pam said...

Oh oh, gravitational pull is winning. I do like the idea of Hawaiian shirts. Can you send me one, Lightly?

itsmecissy said...

Ever try the “firmness test?” You know the one, where you put a can of hairspray under your boob and hope it falls?

But don’t worry bob, at least you’ll never have to step into your bra to put it on.

Keaton's Mom said...

After mastectomys for breast cancer the surgeon leaves what they call 'dog ears,' in case you change your mind and decide on implants later (no thank you). Now that I am an old fart, I rather like them. I think I'll call them 'puppy ears,' sounds much cuter.