"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Saturday, January 24, 2009

807. the man plan

i happened by one of those two minute filler spots on a cable news station recently.
it was a two minute interview with some female author on a promotional tour.
she was hawking her book called, "the man plan".
apparently she had interrogated 250 men between the ages of 22-50 about their women attraction theories and from that guy genius concocted game plans for women on that first date.
(oh baby!)
here's her line of thought.
her interrogations revealed that in general men make up their minds very quickly about whether or not they have an interest in a woman.
it's sorta like the way men shop: they know what they want, they see it, they buy it.
so you see, women need to have a plan for that first date to maximize the man's "buy it" percentages.
hence the name, "the man plan".

the apparent strategy is for the woman to pass the "buy it" test at any cost, and worry about jettisoning the lout later if he turns out not to wear her well.

here's what i think, with plans like these, who needs harmony.com.
really.
for instance, one piece of insider information is that men like perfume with strong vanilla notes because it reminds them of—get this—baked goods!
now nobody but nobody likes baked goods more than yours truly, but if you're gonna depend on my sense of smell to figure out that's what you are up to, forgeddaboudit!
put a couple of cupcakes in your bra and i'm buyin' licketty split if you see what i'm sayin', although i'd settle for a good sense of humor and a plain cruller
then again, as hard as it may be to believe, it's not like i've been a dating machine anyway.
so who am i to say.

honestly, i just feel for woman of the opposite sex, always having to have man plans and all.
i say, "use catch and release for trout, not men?"

1 comment:

Pam said...

The words "grab it" on any date sends me into orbit. If some guy tried grabbing at me he'd be singing soprano for the rest of his life.

However, if he smelled like a jelly donut I might reconsider.