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Sunday, September 5, 2010

(from the files) 617. buying sneakers

i dread buying sneakers.
probably go once every ten years.
and each time i do, it becomes harder to find what i'm looking for, which is a sneaker.

it always goes the same way.
i walk into one of these meccas of athletic shoes, when i'm immediately approached by a young, fit human dressed like a roller derby referee.

young, fit referee: hi sir, can i help you?
me: i'm not sure.
young, fit referee: well, as you can tell we have the largest inventory of athletic shoes this side of madison square garden. so ask away.
me: okay, i'm looking for something called a sneaker. you know, something that feels better than a shoe and is good for making quick cuts and sweet dodges during a rousing game of red rover during recess.
young, fit referee: gee sir, never heard of red rover. some sort of paintball war game affair? because we have six, maybe seven, different types of what i like to call athletic enhancement foot apparel for that? sure we can find something for ya.
me: um ... never mind.

and i leave empty handed—those kind of sneakers.


Ladygoodwood said...

Oh Robert I empathise! I don't buy sneakers but know exactly what it is like trying to keep it simple.
I am currently away in our RV in a very blustery Northumberland and it is pouring with rain. We came up here to do some walking, not hiking and I wanted comfortable footwear. I have has a pair of desert bots for over 20 years. Comfiest things ever. However, they have finally given up the ghost. I went to replace them. Of course young man in shop had never heard of desert boots. He then showed me a selection of high performance walking boots. I don't do high performance. I walk, nothing fancy, just one foot in front of the other walking. Did he have anything that was suitable?
Was I going to get them wet? Yes, if it rains, but I don't intend to swim in them. I tried on several pairs, all made me look as if I had had a bout of childhood polio.
My husband was rolling around telling me I looked like Phylis Diller. Young man didn't know who she was.
I didn't buy.
When i find the shop that does sell desert boots, i bet they have sneakers too, shall drop you a line.

itsmecissy said...

Exactly why I buy all my shoes online.

Pam said...

Barefoot works for me.