(from the files) 530. merbutlers

i said, sometimes i wonder what it would be like to be a merbutler.
keaton asked, what are you talking about?
i said, you know a man mermaid.
she said, there is no such thing.
so i asked, you mean, such thing as a mermaid?
then she said, no. mermaids exist or i wouldn't want to be one. i'm talking about merbutlers.
i asked, how can you be so sure?
she answered, well they're not in the dictionary for one.
then i said, well, i need more proof than that.
and she said, well, try googling merbutlers and you'll see.

so i did.

and she's wrong!
but i don't feel like rocking her little feminist, waterworld fantasy, because that's the kind of merbutler i am.