"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Thursday, September 6, 2007

376. the tattoo

it was only a matter of time before alix, my pseudo step-daughter, got inked, specifically, her ankle.
and once again, i found myself floundering in a brave new female world.

the unveiling went something like this.
my cell phone began making a noise i had never heard before.
i looked at it.
it was blinking, new pix message.
more accurately it was my first pix message—i’ve had the phone only two years.
after referencing my trusty quick-guide, i figured out how to open the picture.
it was a picture of something all right.
it looked like a snowman with a top hat.
then i received a voice message from alex, hey bob, i finally did it, what do ya think?
i thought “finally did what”, which almost always translates to “uh oh”?
i studied the picture again.
ah, a tattoo!
she got a tattoo.
she got a tattoo of a … a ... snowman with a top hat?
that’s weird!

so i sent a voice message back to her saying, looks great!
a most meaningless phrase, one meant to buy me time without disturbing the estrogen universe.
and what a smart move it was.
when i finally saw the real thing, it was in fact a tattoo but of a mermaid, quite beautiful actually.
and i plan to leave the whole matter at that, looks great, as in, looks great until your ankle wrinkles from old age bone loss, then it’s gonna look like a melting snowman with a top hat—if you’re lucky!

but i figure the last part about the bone loss and such is best left unsaid—for undisturbed, estrogen universe reasons.

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