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Thursday, August 9, 2007

329. when urine a rush

we’ve all seen them.
the discarded gatorade bottles that line our highways and byways, half full of yellow tinted beverage, except it’s beverage that’s already been used.
you know what i’m talking about.

i must be missing out on something?
does it say on the bottle label: retain empty container. it can be used in emergencies as a safe, waste receptacle. approved by aaa and the federal highway authority.

think about the shenanigans a driver has to go through to safely waste receptacate.
and if it’s a female, well why not just give her three cells phones, two make-up mirrors, and a super sized hot cup of coffee to juggle, cause she's a freakin’ magician.

i guess i just don’t understand why these idiots can’t do us all a favor and pull over.
i mean what kind of predicament can one possibly be in where the only option is to pee in a plastic container while steering a car, or worse and eighteen wheeler, at speeds in excess of seventy mile per hour.
i miss a stationary bowl half the time.
and i’m standing still.
and i even have two hands available.

also, when you’re done, if you go through the trouble of capping it, why throw it out the window? take it home, dispose of it correctly.

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