"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Thursday, August 9, 2007

327. andy bought an autographed baseball

andy said, i just bought a barry bonds, autographed baseball on the home shopping network for four hundred smackers.
i said, you did what!
andy said, you heard me. it’s probably already worth more than i paid for it and i haven’t even received it yet. did you know that according to the guy on tv that 98.9% of autographed baseballs are forged?
i said, is that so. so how do you know you got a real one?
andy said, what do ya think? i was born tomorrow? it’s on tv, and they have an affidavit saying it’s the real deal. besides, they would never sell a fake for that much money.
i asked, so how did the home shopping network get so many “real” autographed balls.
andy said, because they have connections. they're players.
i said, i don’t know, the whole thing smells fishy if you ask me.
andy said, no that’s just the tuna salad i had for lunch.
i thought, what a sweet job it would be to be andy’s financial advisor.

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