"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Monday, December 22, 2008

(from the files) 239. gordon ramsay is unhappy with my pesto

gordon said, come ere yuah!
i asked, what is it chef?
he yelled, did yuah taste the pesto?
i said, no chef.
he said, oh come on! it tastes like pig sh@#!
i said, but that’s what pesto tastes like.
then he screamed, yuah ahr a fu&%ing loser stick leg boy!
so he lodged a meat cleaver in my shoulder and snarled, now yuah look like a loser! go man the onion cutting station yuah shoulder cleaver fu@% and try not to bleed on anything, yeah?

i think my chances of surviving to the next hell's kitchen challenge are nil, but other than the sharp pain in my shoulder blade, i’d have to say all in all i’ve had a pretty good time.

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