"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

(from the files) 185. manstake #2

before keaton returned from her early morning walk with the dog, and after i did my man job of taking the garbage out, i removed the poison ivy growing around the mail box as a little extra friday surprise.
when she returned i said, well you won’t have to worry about that poison ivy wrapped around mail box anymore.
she said, i hope you aren’t talking about the flowering clematis vine that was the first thing i planted when i moved in twelve years ago.
i said, nope, it was poison ivy—why that strangling scoundrel had apparently choked to death the climatic or whatever you’re talking about.
she said, you did, didn't you?.

then she showed me another clematis vine.
i checked the groups of three, same size leaves.
hmm, i did.
then i said, so the evolutionary survival property of clematis is that it pretends to be poison ivy. deserves it right!
then she said, and i suppose your survival property is that you imitate an otherwise intelligent life form.
i said, well look at it this way. at least i got my daily manstake over with early. the rest of your day is free of any such concern.

she lamented, and to think that i was fooled by that cheap upright walk trick of yours.

(see #62 for manstake #1)


itsmecissy said...

"i hope you aren’t talking about the flowering clematis vine, that was the first thing i planted when i moved in twelve years ago."
-----------------------------------Ooooooo, definitely an "ouch moment." I feel your pain. It'll grow back.......gotta go check my stuffed peppers. Happy weekend all!

cranelegs said...

what can i tell ya cath? i'd probably toss out your stuff peppers saying they had rotted with some sort of goop inside. the important thing is that my heart's in the right place-just not the brain.

Pam said...

The heart wins out! Clematis vines can be replaced.

Happy Thanksgiving to all you beautiful folks who hang out at "The Pond".

bob said...

along with clematis vines so to can men perpetrating manstakes!

and the fact i haven't been discarded to date is what i give thanks to each and every day!