"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Sunday, June 13, 2010

you too!

"walk down the street to the river and look for the entrance to the path on the right. it follows the river for about two miles. quite beautiful this time of year. that'll be two dollars for the water."
i hand over two dollars, "thanks for the directions."
"no problem. have a great walk."
"you too!"

ever done that?
automatically responded "you too" when it doesn't apply at all?

ever have someone seize upon your injudiciousness by retorting, "oh, i will if by that you mean have greatness in walking back and forth behind this human oven, masqueraded as a deli counter, fetching the icy cold beverage of your choice, while tending to steaming soup and a skin searing griddle all day long, because if that's what you mean, then it never occurred to me to do just that until you suggested it this very moment, pretty much making me feel like such an unappreciative lout all these years without a day off for not knowing how much splendor might be had by this prancing about on my flat feet and shin splints. it even gives me pause to wonder why—what with all this untapped merriment and jollity at my hammer toes becks and calls already— why i should get paid an exorbitant six dollars and hour plus tips left by lesser people than you, with your wonderful zen insights and all. if that's what you mean by "you too" is all i'm sayin', because if that's it, i can't find the right words to express my gratitude of your well wishing."

i haven't ... yet ... but i think the day is comin'.


Randy Johnson said...

me too!

itsmecissy said...


In the day when I ate fast food (haven't touched the stuff since July 1998 - and why I remember the exact date is a story in itself), I went to a Wendy's and ordered a baked potato, dry, and a side salad bar. The pimply-faced counter boy asked "Do you want fries with that?" I blinked incredulously and paused a minute, then replied back "Do you think I need them?" He awoke from his Zombie trance and chuckled "I guess not. It's automatic that we ask."

My husband would have said "What are you, retaaaaaded?"