"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Thursday, April 1, 2010

the angina dialogue

"well mr. crane you impressed all the interviewers but it is our feeling that you are over qualified for the job."
"oh no, that's the wrong way to think about it."
"how so?"
"a better way to look at it is that i'm super qualified. better than qualified. qualified plus some free extras."
"mr. crane that sure is an interesting persepective but we don't see it that way."
"what do you mean? look, let's say you were hiring a security guard and superman applied for the job. would you say he's over qualified?"
"mr. crane this position is for sorting mail. it's not for a security guard."
"but would ya? would ya hire superman."
"i don't think so."
"why not? he'd be the best security guard you'd ever have, leaping around your tall building in single bounds and stopping bullets with his bare hands and all."
"we don't have a telephone booth for one."
"well, if you had one, would you?"
"look mr. crane you seem like a nice enough person but we just think thirty years of IT project management qualifies you for something other than sorting mail."
"i hear that a lot. i just don't get it that's all."
"he'd have xray vision. you still wouldn't hire him?"
"no. we'd probably recommend he try blackwater or something else more suitable. we just make raincoats. people don't break into raincoat warehouses. he'd get bored"
"it's been a pleasure meeting you. best of luck with your job search. i'm certain you will find something."
"i'd be your super mail man?"
"we don't allow our employees to wear red capes. i'm sorry. mr. kent here, our security guard, will escort you out. have a nice day."
"fine. be that way. have an unsuper day too."
moments later.
"hey mr. kent. ya mind if i ask you a question?"
"you can call me clark. sure. fire away?"
i whispered under my breath, "son of a bitch! superman!"
"hey! i heard that!"

and just like that, my angina flared up like there was no tomorrow.

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