"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Thursday, January 7, 2010

999. a final word on blogging

i've been at this blog for over two years.
i think posting a 1000 posts qualifies me in some capacity to have an opinion about this endeavor, a more astute opinion than let's say my friends benny or andy, who think blogging is for mental patients (their words, not mine).
for me personally, blogging is vane, self-indulgent and so not like me when i'm disconnected from the network.

this particular blog though has become just a little more than an exercise in ego.
it's been a place to get my inside out.
not that anyone else cares.
but i do.
it's something that can't be helped.
it's in my wiring.
mom is a professional impressionist artist, one brother a professional jazz musician, another owns a restaurant, another a dealer of music collectibles, and dad was on his way to play short-stop for the yankees (if my stinky little ass didn't come along).

as for me?
much like dad, i did the expected thing.
college, job, marriage, house, job, job, divorce, job, job, marriage, kid, condo, job, townhouse, job, house, divorce, job, relationship, condo, no job, no condo, job, move-in, no job. 
well, i guess maybe not exactly what was expected.
but pretty close.

and all the while, all i ever felt was the funny.
can't explain it.
hell, if thirty years of corporate lockdown couldn't knock the humor right out of me, nothing could.
what was a guy suppose to do?

well, this guy needed to let that humor out and this blogging thing was just what the doctor ordered.
unclogging through blogging.
it's better than a colon cleanse for sure.
and now i'm unclogged.
it's all out.
all the time.
and i can't put a lid on it.
not yet anyway.

so where was i?
oh yeah, blogging.
yup, it's all a bit narcissistic if you ask me.
then again, almost any shared expression of our inner self could be considered so.
but i guess to some it just comes naturally.
i'm possibly such a person.

someone once asked me when told i was a blogger, "why do you think anyone would want to read your blog?"
i had no answer at the time.
now, a year and a half and hundreds of post later with a modest readership at best, i still don't know why anyone would.
maybe the question has a wayward implication.
that somehow there is a shallow sense of self importance in all of this.

well, i do remember challenging myself on this very point.
almost quit altogether.
but i didn't.
i didn't because i needed to express myself.
that's why i blog.
because i've never been able to keep the funny in.

and while this is my last official written post of Cranelegs Pond (number 1000 will be an audio post), i have other blogs chugging along and a new one that picks up from where this one is leaving off.

so i guess this is my paint brush, my guitar pick, my kitchen.
this is my blog.


lightly said...

benny and andy may be write you qualify.
firstly twice married takes you from the stupid to the insane. we all entitled to be stupid once, then we try learn from our stupid but not you.
secondly bob never lose your funny it makes you you.

Pam said...

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry. I LOVE THE POND and all the others who visit. I feel like we are all part of a wonderful, wacky, very special family. Some really cool connections have been made. So, Bobby, you may have turned yourself inside out, but you have also been the catalyst for some special people get-togethers via THE POND. Thanks.

lightly...love is blind, what can I say?!