"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Monday, August 24, 2009

957. the disclaimer

the disclaimer is a beautiful thing.
end with the disclaimer and you can claim anything.
it's the slippery tool of fibomercial guys, scam websites and just about any penis enhancement product ever made.
it's a sibling to the verbal disclaimer, "i mean no disrespect".
you know how that goes.
"i mean no disrespect but your mother sleeps with man goats!"
the disclaimer is similar but the opposite.
whereas the "i mean no disrespect" disclaims something very, very bad about to be announced, the disclaimer trails great claims of fortunes, cures or erections the size of new jersey.
it's a textual version to crossing of the fingers if you will.
and here is the best part.
the bigger the disclaimer, the smaller the font!
unlike the law of nature, "bigger is better", in the world of disclaiming, "smaller is disclaimier".

hell, you don't even have to invent your own disclaimer.
there are disclaimer templates.
hmmm ... now there's a thought.
copyright the disclaimer!
a little payback for all those disclaimers i never read.
might even make enough to rent a warehouse to store all my private part paraphenalia that left me on the wrong end of "results may vary".


lightly said...

fad diets don't work, buying one of these is just a total waste of money. I have a new and improved diet that works completely free of charge, just buy the dvd for a low 19.95 and its the best free diet you will every get.

this will not increase penis size or help you reduce weight but you will be guaranteed to lose money,
jenny craig think i'm just another madoff ponzi scheme but results may vary

Pam said...

I know a guy who had "TiNY" tattooed on his penis to prove how tough he was. He said it was short for Ticonderoga New York.
Honest. Of course I never saw it, but that's what he said.