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Saturday, November 8, 2008

748. the greatest invention for sliced bread

(toasted slice bread that is)

turkey bacon!
oh baby, bring back that good old breakfast mainstay for only 40 calories a slice!
i'm nuts about it.
it's replaced granola and yogurt around these parts and rightfully so!
they were no breakfast!
why they were ... they were ... anti-american—why almost socialist for godsakes!
that's what they were all right!

and what an invention it is!
this took some test tubin', beekerin' and bunsen burnerin' for sure!
just look at the ingredients.
a fine balance of sodiums: diacitate, phosphate, ascorbate and that crazy nitrate.
(get it wrong and i think you have something that makes car batteries work and that can't be good for the good old intestines)
and let's not forget lactate (hmm ... not asking), dextrose, oil, soy lecthin (must be the calorie thinner) and yeast extract (that's autolyzed for cryin' out loud, which i guess means it's good enough to eat while driving).
of course there's some turkey product in the mix as well.

and with all that and some sugar water, it was still missing that special something.
smokey bacon flavor!
(my guess is that's where the real experimentin' commenced)

mix all that up and cut it up nice like, and you have the greatest invention for sliced bread.

turkey bacon—a shining star in troubled times!

proving american ingenuity is far from dead my friends!

1 comment:

Pam said...

I'm gonna give my cholesterol a boost and have a good ole' BLT for lunch. You know, with "this little piggy went to market" kind of bacon. At least the tomatoes and lettuce are not artery clogging. But then there's that mayo slathered on two pieces of multigrain toast. When all is said and done, it's a balanced sandwich...fat on one side; veggies & whole grains on the other.