"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Sunday, July 6, 2008

592. unemployed humor writer in search of four figure job

well, i'm not exactly an unemployed humor writer.
i'm more like an unemployed-it-project-manager-who-happens-to-be-a-humor-writer.
but i thought i could simply get rid of the middle stuff and it would pretty much mean the same.
economy of words during bad economic times, you might say.

anyway, i'm willing to work for four figures as long as they are nines and eights and come four times a year.

and my speciality?
in one word: cement!
you need someone to write a oneliner about cement, well then count your lucky stars, i'm your man.
need a new tv series pilot, let's say sex in the cement city, let me at it.
want that next big kevin costner blockbuster script, cementworld, sign me up.
how about that next great memoir, growing up cement—oh i can hear me getting off snappy retorts to oprah's prying questions now.

i'm pretty sharp-tongued about three-way switches and spray cans too.

samples and references upon request.
education: betty's online school of writing funny; major: cement; graduated with a 13.2 gpa; took an additional two hours towards a three hour masters program in sidewalks (plan to finish later today).

No comments: