"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Monday, November 12, 2007

448. the elevator dilemma

i have a job these days.
at the job is an elevator.
it is a very slow elevator.
you need a calendar to time its ascent to the top fifth floor.
i need to get to the fifth.
i don’t know what is going on the floors in between but it apparently requires women only.
perhaps it is where daughters of the revolution meet, or possibly the staff of more magazine, or maybe both.
it doesn’t matter.
what does matter is that at 8:30 a.m. they gather to board the elevator.
millions of ‘em.
i was taught to allow women to enter the elevator first.
hence the dilemma.
after four truckloads of waiting, i take the stairs—probably good for me but bad on the tardiness card.
so i’m asking, is it every man/woman for himself/herself or is gallantry still the way to go?

i need an answer and i need it quick because my job performance review hangs in the balance.


Keaton's Mom said...

Treat it like any line. YOU'RE next in line, so you may board. With the possible exception of a really old lady or gentleman, you may enter in your turn. So there my dear, just tell them I said so, and I'm sorta old....

itsmecissy said...

Did you see that episode of LA LAW where the bitchy old lawyer gets hers by stepping into the empty elevator shaft?

I say we program ALL of the elevators so that once a month the doors open well before the elevator arrives. After about a year there won’t be many of the obnoxious get-in-before-you-can-get-out types left and the rest of us can go back to a nice leisurely pace.