"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

(from the files) 417. benny needs a laugh

benny said, i'm having a really bad day. my secret porn dvd is so scratched up i can't get past the fbi warning. say something funny to cheer me up, will ya.
i said, did you hear the one about the astronaut that got a severe case of missile toe?
benny said, no.
i said, it’s a joke. get it. astronaut? missile toe?
benny said, hmm ... i see. yeah, well i haven't heard that one.

he paused a moment and then said, i still miss playing my porn dvd.
i said, sorry, can’t help ya.
he lamented, it’s like losing a lover.
then i said, well, if by lover you mean someone who contorts her limbs like a pretzel, sucks the chrome off a studebaker bumper and screams like a cornered banshee at the mere touch of the pudgy man paws of other men, while all you can do is watch a video of her loving ways.
benny thought for a moment.
then he said, yeah, like that kind of lover.

1 comment:

Pam said...

Tell Benny, if he looks at the scratches on the DVD in the right places he may get a whole new perspective on his lover.

P.S. I like your missle toe joke.