"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

363. the real story behind the senator craig incident

forget the pathetic press announcement the senator made.
what do you expect from the poor lout?
i mean this guy has some serious repressed stuff going on.
and it doesn’t appear like he’s ready to deal with any of it any time soon.

the real story to me is the airport public men’s restroom.
for those of you who have never ventured into one of these joints, it is just about the last place on earth you’d ever want to rest, let alone have sex, with all the odors, and noises, and goin’ ons already—it’s an unsanitary free-for-all of the highest order in there.
man, you have to be in dire straights, if that is a place you just have to try for a little romance.
and of all the airports, why minnesota’s for god’s sake?
how did that become the restroom of choice.
did they advertise on reruns of will and grace, or project runway?
and exactly what is it that folks plan to do when they get there, and how are they going to make it all come about, so to speak?
i don’t know, the whole idea just rubs me the wrong way, figuratively that is—hmm … i guess literally as well.

oh well, one question is answered anyway.
at least i’ve learned why those hands keep appearing under the stall barrier every time i tap my feet to the dumb music playing in the background.
i always assumed it was for toilet paper, now i know to ask first.

on second thought, i best put gum on the bottom of my shoes and mind my own pee and q’s, lest an unsavory situation occur.

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