"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Friday, June 22, 2007

240. blacklisted from polls

i’m convinced i’m blacklisted from polls, and i’m not normally a conspiracy type.
here’s what happened—you tell me.
twenty three years ago i was blindsided by a pollster at a mall who asked if i knew jesus christ.
i panicked and told him i was pretty sure he was the guy from the bible who did all those fantastic magic tricks.
i saw the pollster check “no” before he walked away, shaking his head in disdain.
i suspect that was when i was reported to the secret poll police, and filed away as a no-good-nik.
nineteen years later, i was approached by an exit poll taker after casting my vote in the 2004 presidential election.
she asked my name.
i happily replied.
then she said, oh it’s you!
and then she walked away in a tizz.
okay, so maybe it’s just me, but something in denmark smells of fish.

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