"if it's good news, it must be someone else's"

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

(from the files) 65. the bart springley interview

[occasionally, as part of my public service contract, i interview interesting local folks here in west new jersey. to be honest though, it all fits in nicely with my plan to attract loads of people to move out here so it'll get overcrowded and keaton will get the hint that it's time to move to vermont.]

this interview is a part of that master plan. it was with bart springley. he lives a few miles away.

i asked, so bart, why do you raise buffalo?
bart said, cause they attract indians.
i said, but we are in new jersey. they're long gone.
he said, that’s how come you gotta attract them.
(i hadn’t planned on this line of thought. i was already out of questions.)
in order to buy some time i said, wow, you don't say.
(that's an interviewing trick that i picked up from larry king.)
anyway, nothing was coming to mind to ask.
so i said, thanks bart for inviting us out to your farm and good luck.
bart said, found two pair of discarded lenni lenape moccasins just the other day, and some arrow heads..
i said, fantastic, thanks again and may you eat good jersey tomatoes.
(that's a closing interview expression i made up myself and is becoming my tagline.)

then i signaled to my technician, tj higgins, to shut down his mobile phone video recording system and we left.
overall, i'd say it was a pretty successful interview, and i'm sure once it airs on channel 513 some time next summer it's gonna attract tens of people to this area.

can you say vermont cheddar?

No comments: