i was home alone last night and had big tv plans—ranger hockey, ultimate fighting, cops, hbo late night, interlaced with commercial break drive-bys of the discovery channel in hd.
you know, all the things you have to miss because normally there are other humans with highly overrated self respect runnin’ about with all the controls.
anyway, delightfully filled with beer, dogs, beans and tater tots, i got curled up with a basket full of remote controls, and turned on the tv to see the last minute of a seinfeld repeat that i've seen a billion (minus three) times over.
before i knew it, i awoke at 1:19 am, still in an upright sitting position, remote in paw, just in time to hear convicted felon, kevin trudeau, tell some guy, who looked like a used shoe salesman, that he can cure acid reflux and lupus with everyday vinegar.
the last thing i remember before that was george costanza holding up a golf ball, a titlest i believe.
boy, it was a crazy night.
it’s good i only do this but thrice a year.